Eclipse: New Beginnings

Deborah Turbeville

August 1, 2011

And after that night, nothing would ever be the same. 

I wish we'd recorded our conversation so I could replay every single moment of it. What we said was a testament of how deep our love was, how connected we truly were. It was a true example of what it means to fully understand and respect another human being.

I'm not sure anyone could ever understand how we can walk away from this, when it’s clear there is something beyond our conscious level of understanding that bonds us together.

But, I don't see this as walking away.

The last 2 hours were some of the most honest, incredible and powerful moments that I've been privileged to experience. What exists between us runs deeper than I think either of us will ever truly be able to understand in this lifetime.

I’m at peace, and it's not just because I've met HIM. I'm at peace because what we just shared is something that no matter whom we are with, we will always have.

These past few months you and I discovered things about ourselves; things we were only able to understand because of each other. And that is something so powerful and beautiful, that no one will ever be able to take away.

I don't view our conversation as a conclusion, but as a pivotal moment. One where time stood still and nothing else existed except what we share.

There is nothing to be sad about, nothing at all to mourn the loss of... Although what we had together was deeply moving and passionate, what we will have moving forward will be life-altering.

It’s my belief that we cannot get everything we truly need from just one person. And even though I cannot pinpoint what ‘it’ is we give each other, I have no intentions of letting our incredible connection and deep fundamental understanding of one another vanish.

No longer confined to this wrinkle, I am excited about where our new path will lead.

Come with me my dear friend; let us embark on this journey they call life. Let us be still in this beautiful moment with the knowledge that when we move beyond the confinement of our wrinkle, we will discover it can unfold into our lifeline.

The Ex Factor

October 27, 2010

In life, you cannot control what happens; no matter how high the high the only place to go is down.

He was my University boyfriend. We’d been dating two years, 18 months of which were spent living together. We were that couple everyone wanted to be. Physically and esthetically complimentary to one another; we made each other better in every way. I had found him, my partner in crime and it changed everything.

When I moved to New York we were still dating, but as the black sedan pulled away from our place I knew deep down it would be the last time I would see him. A couple of weeks later our relationship ended.

The fantasy was finished. Everything had been turned upside down in an instant. Moving away only made it all the more clear. It was over and I hadn’t looked back, until now. 

Let’s call him The Ex.

Years had gone by, two and a half to be exact. Not one word, email, or text message had passed between us. When it’s over it’s over; I had never been one to dwell on the past.

When I arrived back to the ‘scene of the crime’ to cover an event for an international publication, the last thing I expected was to see him; we had been so good at avoiding each other for so long. 

Never having kept in touch with an ex boyfriend, something made me want to change that. Even though The Ex broke my heart and made me question everything I thought I knew about love, I didn’t hate him. Why couldn’t we be friends? I emailed him. Just a few words, a peace offering and the suggestion to grab a coffee while I was in town. To my surprise, he responded.

And that is when everything changed.

Old School

@Mich_Tom Michelle Thompson

April 19, 2010

Before all the sex, drugs and rock and roll. Before I understood that love wasn’t real. I had a boyfriend. A stereotypical high school nightmare, him the Football Guy and me the Cheer Captain. The first 8 months of our 2 years were grand while the remaining was spent figuring how to get out alive.

He was the first person I slept with, first guy to make me cum. I loved sex from day one.  The tales of our relationship would not only bore you, but also frighten you to your core; instead I am skipping along to the juicy goodness. The breakup.

I had finally been given my out; Football Guy had hung up on me for the very last time. The next morning he approached me in the hallway. Tried to kiss me and I turned my cheek. “Why did you hang up on me?” I demanded. His response, “I didn’t feel like talking to you anymore.”

The entire day he kept approaching me for a kiss, my response, “I didn’t FEEL like it.” Heading to my last class of the morning he cornered me, told me if I walked away from him it was over. I turned on the heel of my espadrilles and walked into class, adrenaline pumping through my veins.

Like clockwork Football Guy was standing outside my class when the bell rang. I walked by him. He grabbed my wrist, demanding we speak. I told him I had lunch plans that perhaps I would FEEL like talking to him after.

Heading into my first class post lunch drink in hand, he was waiting outside the giant glass wall of the science lab. He demanded to know what was going on. I told him I thought it was over; after all I had walked away. He laughed, “I was just threatening you.” He stared at me and I looked him square in the eye, for the first time feeling confident towards him. He asked if I still loved him. Silence. I took a long sip of my diet coke before answering, “No.” 

He grabbed the drink from my hand, threw it in my face before punching the wall beside my head. I could feel the breeze on my cheek as his fist crunched into the drywall. I just kept staring him in the eye. He pushed me, for the last time, into the wall and then stormed around the corner and up the stairs.

I stood, my white sundress dripping in soda. I could see the kids in the science room on their phones, texts to everyone what they had witnessed. I had never felt better. I was free; let the games begin.