Art of Sext
It has been a hot second since I’ve taken time to share about Hugh. Dear reader please do not for one second think it’s because things have faded. My Montréal based beau is very much alive and well, living his best polyamorous life. In fact his other lover will be joining him this very weekend for a night out at one of the many sex club experiences the city has to offer. Am I jealous?
“Tonight as you fall asleep,” my heart skips a beat as Hugh’s message lands on the screen of my phone. It has been a hot second since I’ve taken time to share about Hugh. Dear reader please do not for one second think it’s because things have faded. My Montréal based beau is very much alive and well, living his best polyamorous life. In fact his other lover will be joining him this very weekend for a night out at one of the many sex club experiences the city has to offer. Am I jealous? Only that I won’t be available to join them.
He continues,“I want to lie you on your stomach with your fingers on your clit thinking of me behind you, massaging your lower back, squeezing my hard cock between your cheeks. As your pussy starts to drip, I slide inside you, pushing deep and filling you up. Letting you feel all of me throb as your pussy contracts to welcome me. As we fuck I start playing with your ass, massaging it until it’s succumbs and lets my thumb slip inside. I finger your asshole and ready it for my cock. You’re so close to orgasm as I take my cock from your pussy and slide it deep into your ass; I grab a fistful of your hair and pull your head back off the bed so I can see your face and watch you. I keep my weight pressed heavy against your waist, your fingers still moving hard against your clit as I move back-and-forth, sliding in your ass until we both explode in violent orgasmic release. We collapse together, my weight pinning you down sweaty and heavy in unison. Exalted.”
Ummm… Yes Hugh, I can absolutely lie in bed tonight and cum fantasizing about savagely hot anal sex with you.
We’ve found ourselves after only two in-person dates in a long distance relationship that goes well beyond Sex; although with messages like these the anticipation and the desire is strong and I feel almost bad for the poor people who will be my neighbors in Montréal this summer.
After more than six months apart Hugh and I have some serious making-up for-lost-sex-time well overdue. For now, our weekly FaceTime’s and lengthly written letters continue; the sexy texts are creating an intense build up and I explode again and again to his written words.
Keep the sexts coming Hugh.
The One & Done
I am an addict, he was my fix. The ongoing sexting for hours and days on end; playing out endless fantasies, sexual and other, only to let the chips fall where they may.
He asked what made me reach out and I’d told him I wasn’t sure. Hindsight is 20/20 and denial runs deep. I knew why I reached out. I knew what would unfold. And I got exactly what I’d been looking for. Torture, punishment and pleasure.
I was seeking a connection to the past, to an unknown that had tempted me so many times before. The One, an apple in my garden of eden, combined with the voice inside, my serpent, begging me to sink my teeth in and eat my heart out.
I am an addict, he was my fix. The ongoing sexting for hours and days on end; playing out endless fantasies, sexual and other, only to let the chips fall where they may. I hung on each vibration of my phone, while he gave me almost everything I needed from afar.
As time passed it became clear we were spinning. His actions straying so far from the words he speaks. And just as soon as it began it ended. There are no pieces to pick up. Nothing is broken; there is nothing to break.
Empty is my heart, flat is my soul. There is nothing for me with him. The One who got away? The One who was never meant to be? The One I’ll never have. The One and done.
The wild nights we’ll never have. The potential explosion of dynamic energy that will never be set off; the power that could have been. The mind blowing, earth shattering sexual tension dies on each unfulfilled commitment, each call never made nor answered.
Onward.
Now, how do you tell your new partner that when you say open, you really mean open, without scaring them away before things have a real chance? This new man in my life is delightful though I worry our commitments to living outside societal norms may differ in more ways than one.
While I adore how he holds me down by pressing his arm across my throat while I cum... I feel as though he’s not as experimental as I’ll eventually need him to be. Time will tell. For now I’m taking the discovery process slow. Getting to know him more than just sexually but also personally. Is this what they mean when they say adulting?
The One
I’ve never wanted to be locked down before but with him it’s undeniable. My heart is engulfed in his darkness. Wild, crazy and open. To be locked down with him is to truly be free.
The thought of his touch electrifies every cell in my being.
The space and time between us is vast but also nonexistent. This connection runs deep and my mind goes to those future places where we are together. Properly together.
That first touch, our first kiss.
As he said, “It will be a million microseconds being pulled together at once, like tiny shards of metal hopeless to their magnetic nucleus; causing a large energetic whole - where time stands no chance against the physics”.
He is poetic and passionate, dark and intense and oh so fucking beautiful. My heart sinks deeper in pleasure with each song he sends, with each photo of his gorgeous body and handsome face I receive.A snippet of artful delight lands on my phone screen as we exchange erotic art sexts; the depth of my desire increases.
I’ve never wanted to be locked down before but with him it’s undeniable. My heart is engulfed in his darkness. Wild, crazy and open. To be locked down with him is to truly be free.
I’ve never met someone who loved me for me. They loved the idea of me, but when the cards are on the table and there are no chips left to play, it’s too much, I’m too much.
He is different. He is strong like me, smart like me, dark like me. Even if we are never together, he will always be the one.
